Lift off

The lift is a never-ending source of comment in our office. Not only because the voice announcing the imminent closing of the doors bears an uncanny resemblance to Judi Dench's Dame-worthy voice, but as a result of the temperemental nature of its movements. Up? Was that the button you pressed? Are you sure you wouldn't prefer down? Well, as I'm an adolescent lift testing my independence, I'll take you down rather than up anyway. When one of the two lifts is playing this favourite trick, prepare yourself for a trip around the floors which you never normally visit. Oh yes, the lift will happily deposit you on all those empty floors between the ones to which you actually want to go. So don't be surprised if the person you've just met getting into the lift you've got out of reappears two minutes later in the second lift after an enforced detour. Or perhaps they are just avoiding work...